Her Morning Elegance
by catwaked94
Summary: Lucy knew that not one of them would come even close to the actual truth. No one would ever guess what really happened, nobody would ever know that she, The Valiant Queen, was hopelessly in love with a man she would only see again come death. OneShot/SongFic; may become multichapter.


Lucy Pevensie was not an ordinary young woman. At the age of 8, she'd fought wars alongside her older siblings and won. She's more than capable with a dagger and has more faith in Aslan than anyone else. In spite of it all, she was still seen as a little girl. Even after her reign during The Golden Age, her brothers and sisters still treated her as a young girl with no sense of right or wrong. Her trip with Edmund and Caspian was one that did wonders for her. She grew into herself, she learned just how valuable she was to Narnia and most important of all, she fell in love.

_Sun been down for days  
A pretty flower in a vase  
A slipper by the fireplace  
A cello lying in its case_

It's silly really. She'd only spent a few months with him, and she is years younger than he is. Yet every time someone so much as mentions his name, any coherent thoughts stop. Any time she sees someone in Finchley with those luscious long brown locks and muscular build, her breath catches in her throat. He was a king, and she'd always wanted to be his queen.

What started off as a mere schoolgirl crush when they first met him, gradually grew into something much stronger, deeper and more meaningful. When Susan and Caspian kissed, she leaned towards Peter and said "I'm sure when I'm older, I'll understand". She did understand. When she saw them kiss, her heart shattered. At the time, she didn't understand, and when she cried that night, everyone thought it was due to their departure from Narnia, but she knew it was more than that.

_Soon she's down the stairs  
Her morning elegance she wears  
The sound of water makes her dream  
Awoken by a cloud of steam  
She pours a daydream in a cup  
A spoon of sugar sweetens up_

When they were on the Dawn Treader together, she tried to emulate Susan. She tried to be as coy and flirty as her beautiful sister but he barely spared her a glance. He was so busy with her brother Edmund that he failed to notice just how much she'd changed. When they met Ramandu's daughter, she once again felt the familiar pang in her chest. He looked at Lilliandil the same way he looked at Susan.

After all that had transpired between the two of them, he never even considered her to be a possibility. He wanted a gentle woman, one as radiant as a star, but never a valiant one. She had never been more disappointed in him. She thought he would prefer someone who would fight beside him defending the land he loves, not some damsel in distress. When she got back to her cabin that night, she began rummaging through her wardrobe for any dresses that fit her. Anything to make her feel dainty, girly, _feminine_.

_And She fights for her life  
As she puts on her coat  
And she fights for her life on the train  
She looks at the rain  
As it pours  
And she fights for her life  
As she goes in a store  
With a thought she has caught  
By a thread  
She pays for the bread  
And She goes...  
Nobody knows_

She found nothing but tunics and breeches. She threw down the garments in frustration, sat down harshly on the bed and began to sob. Huge angry tears ran down her face and they didn't seem to want to stop anytime soon. After almost 30 minutes, she wore herself out and fell into a fitful sleep. She woke up in time for the next docking and no one commented on her swollen red eyes. She was a queen and even if her heart was breaking, she would act like one.

But all of that seemed so long ago. They had completed their voyage and met with Aslan at world's end. She knew that she had to go home, she had to say goodbye to Narnia, to its people, to him. It would have been the perfect moment to tell him how she really felt. When she was in his arms, she could have looked into his eyes and said those three words. It could have changed everything, and it could have changed nothing.

_Sun been down for days  
A winter melody she plays  
The thunder makes her contemplate  
She hears a noise behind the gate  
Perhaps a letter with a dove  
Perhaps a stranger she could love_

In the end, she said nothing because she knew that she had to go home, and he had a kingdom to rule. She was a queen-is a queen. But she no longer lives amongst her people. She hugged him, shed a few tears and kept her head high as she walked away from the man she loved. No one would ever find out how she felt. Edmund was too focused on living up to Peter's expectations and Eustace was still in shock over all that had transpired. In a way, that's good for her. She didn't want anyone to know. She believed that Aslan had done what was best for everyone.

She's been back in England for almost four years now. Four years of waking up and going through the motions. It became a routine for her almost immediately and it's never stopped. She hasn't smiled in four years, she hasn't laughed in four years, she hasn't felt in four years. Sure she's smiled and laughed in front of everyone else, but it's been four years since she truly laughed, smiled for good reason.

While her faith in Aslan never faltered, she began to question his actions. How could he have done that to her? He knew how she felt about Caspian and yet, here she was, sitting on a bench in a park near her house. Funny, how she had come to resent England and all of its inhabitants. She should be going out to buy vegetables for her Aunt Alberta and yet, she sat here, unmoving.

_And She fights for her life  
As she puts on her coat  
And she fights for her life on the train  
She looks at the rain  
As it pours  
And she fights for her life  
As she goes in a store  
With a thought she has caught  
By a thread  
She pays for the bread  
And She goes...  
Nobody knows_

She missed him. She truly missed him. It felt as though there was a huge gaping hole in her heart and nothing would fix it. Every time she thought of him, she wondered just how much time had passed in Narnia. Had it been a few months, years, decades? Was he married? More than anything else, she wished to be with him.

No one knew. They all thought she had outgrown her childhood fantasies, just like Susan had. They all thought she had accepted the idea of never going back to the place she called home. They thought that she didn't care anymore. She hid her pain well. She became much quieter but they all chalked it up to her finally growing up. At nineteen, she was a beauty. She had finally accomplished her dream of being as beautiful as her sister. Men flocked to her and after all this time, she was never able to give her heart to one of them. She constantly compared them to him. They weren't tall enough, too tall, too skinny, too fat, too muscular. Their hair wasn't brown, too light, too dark, not wavy enough. Nothing was good enough for her except him.

_And She fights for her life  
As she puts on her coat  
And she fights for her life on the train  
She looks at the rain  
As it pours  
And she fights for her life  
Where people are pleasently strange  
And counting the change  
And She goes..._

The sky had turned gray while she sat in the park and there was a slight chill in the air. What perfect weather for her mood. She was gloomy, and that is exactly what the sky was. All she needed now was a spot of rain to really make it perfect. As if the sky heard her thoughts, it began to rain lightly and Lucy knew that it was time to go back to her Aunt's house. As she stood, her gray coat wrapped snugly around her to keep the cold air out. She made her way back to the house slowly, taking the shorter route than earlier.

As she made her way back, multiple people stopped to stare at the beautiful young lady walking in the rain. No matter what their opinions were, Lucy knew that not one of them would come even close to the actual truth. No one would ever guess what really happened, nobody would ever know that she, The Valiant Queen, was hopelessly in love with a man she would only see again come death.

_Nobody knows_


End file.
